Dear past -self,
I have no good news for you. The feeling of always being alone and never escaping the feeling of drowning still haunts us. You were too much of a coward to kill yourself. You were weak and disgusting. Good news: You stopped cutting. More bad news: You still feel like shit but now you have nothing to purge these feeling out with.
The pressure building behind your eyes and seeping into every thought you have is getting unbearable to the point where you contemplate giving yourself open-brain surgery in your bedroom just to release this pressure. Your life is more fucked up and complicated. You still have no idea where you are going or what you’re doing. You don’t know who loves you and who means it when they say those 3 words that just don’t have meaning to you anymore. Good news: You are getting braver everyday. More bad news: You are still weak and disgusting.
I hope you get things in order. I hope you don’t feel like this anymore. But I know that’s a lie. 6 years of feeling this way and nothing has changed. So I hope you become brave and do what you should have done all those years ago. Make sure they cant revive you. You don’t want to see those eyes that you see every time, those eye’s filled with pity and shame. Good news: This will all be over one day. More bad news: You will always be weak and disgusting.
Dear 15 year old girls,
Thinking all guys are sexist pigs just because one douche screwed you over is not feminism. There’s going to be more people in your life that break your heart not all will be men. One day you will meet someone that makes every love song you’ve ever listened to make sense, I just hope you aren’t too busy hating him just because he has a penis.
Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder at The Golden Globe awards 1991
my favorite post ever
^This is literally what i do 24.7 after following your AMAZING blog.
The Bat Family // artwork by Marcio Takara (2012)
1º Updated 17/05/2012. 2º Update 25/11/2012
When you can sit there and just feel your sadness or suicidality, and think ‘I’m used to it’. Nobody should be used to that. Nobody deserves that, as much as we may think otherwise.